A couple of weeks ago, in early February 2017, our proofreader noticed that I had used the word 'ladies' when describing two entrepreneurial young women from Melbourne who were running a vegan restaurant. I had written: 'These ladies love their sugar and oil and are not afraid to splash it around liberally.'
Our proofreader wondered if the use of the word 'ladies' in this context might sound a bit patronising. I knew exactly what he meant but I decided to let it stand.
I couldn't explain, however, why the word 'ladies' – in this context – might be interpreted as having pejorative connotations. If you were to see a mother in a shop who was pressing a ten-dollar note into the hand of her child as she said, 'Give the money to the lady', then you wouldn't give it a second thought. Most of us would agree that this expression has no patronising connotations, and to use the word 'woman' in that context would sound rude – for reasons that are similarly inaccessible to most of us when we first think about these matters.
Why doesn't the use of the word 'lady' sound patronising or in any other way demeaning in the example of the mother, the child and the shop assistant? 'Lady' in that context may have a tincture of a bygone world about it, but it sounds in no way disrespectful. But what if the mother were to say to the child, 'Give the money to the woman'? The word 'woman' in that context sounds harsh, like a term that might be used in a police report: 'Police apprehended a 21-year-old woman driving down Hoddle Street in a reckless manner.' 'Woman', in the legal context, sounds perfectly appropriate, and the use of the word 'lady' would strike most of us as peculiar.
'Ladies', in the context of my review of the recipe book written by the two Melburnian restaurateurs, would, I think, sound acceptable to a large part of the reading public. It's not as blandly generic as 'women', and it has playful connotations of courtliness and decorous behaviour. There are similar fine distinctions between words used when referring to men – 'bloke' (more Australian, certainly not American, slightly old-fashioned), 'guy' (bland and generic, a hint of American influence, applicable to both sexes), 'mate' (unmistakeably Australian, usually friendly, but sometimes used aggressively – as in 'Watch it, mate!') and 'buddy' (unmistakeably American, connoting a social distance between the speaker and the person spoken to, often used aggressively, as in 'Hey buddy! Whadda ya think ya doing?').
